More (semi-lucid) Dreams. Love and Dance

[Dream]

I was in a large shopping centre. I saw a woman below me on an escalator and heard her say the name of some wine. I repeated the name as a question and suddenly stood face to face with her, extremely near. She said yes, she was going to buy that wine and if I wanted we could share it. I said no no, I could buy my own, but she invited me. So we walked together through the shop and she held up a large sundae with strawberries and suggested getting that, too. She was middle-aged, apple-shaped and had dark short hair and a laughing, friendly face.

I dreamed of my colleagues form university. We were in some sort of camp? Wood and lake.
Dan,who was also there, had been swimming and was wet. I was standing behind him and wanted to dry him with a towel. I saw his shoulders with droplets on them. He was wearing bathing trunks. He wanted to get away from me.[Dream]

[Lucid dreams]
Then I became lucid, but not fully. I knew I was dreaming, but I didn't have much control.
I ordered him to hold still and told him he liked it. I certainly liked it, touching him, being so near him. He held still and I dried him and caressed him a little. But somehow controlling the dream didn't work very well. Dan didn't want to cooperate, he showed no reaction to my touch. I wanted to be alone with him (we were in a sunny, dark wood) but people would come and go all the time. I willed them to go away (still thinking I was lucid, but I was going in and out of this semi-lucid state) but it didn't work. Dan left, too. He didn't seem to notice me.
Later I saw him talk to Bes, head to head. It hurt me.
Suddenly Christiana was  the one I was in love with. We were in a car with others and agreed to meet later. I tried to keep it a secret from the others and made her promise not to tell.
Outside I saw Bes and Dan still head to head, and then they kissed passionately. I started crying and turned away. I felt it was hopeless chasing Dan if he was in love with Bes. Kiki stood there and when he saw what happened, he gave me a hug to comfort me. I felt grateful for his sympathy. I saw that it was useless trying to force Dan (lucidly) to comply. I was surprised, but not really. (see real life)

[Dream]

Then there was a house in the wood, with a terrace and a restaurant, maybe our camp was there?. There was an evil man and a small boy (looking like a small Michelin man) who always wanted to run away and was very cheeky. He started a small vehicle and drove away. The man was angry and shouted after him.

I went to a psychic. She was supposed to win Dan over for me or cure me of my sadness about him.  She said she was out of practice. There was dust on some furniture (small table?). I saw myself and somebody. My head got sort of shrunk/separated like a balloon into little connected orbs. I said ouch, but felt nothing. It was more a vision of what would happen?

Then I was in a ballet studio at the Vaganova school. I was thinner and wore the old-fashioned Vaganova leotard with v-neck and 3/4 sleeves. There were others, real Vaganova students? I was looking forward to getting a really good class. I did pliés, my turnout was good, I felt very thin, strong and well aligned, I gave my all in allongé, I did a relevé with allongé and my feet spread out on the floor and felt very stable. I heard a loud rushing sound. It supposedly came from the window, so I went to the window which was small, in a small niche, and looked out. I saw the sea with small waves and heard the sound of the waves rushing. It looked like Ayas from the hill with the lighthouse. I tried to close the window but the rushing didn't stop. I wondered why there was a sea in St. Petersburg. Then I went back to continue.

Dreams, Woven Horses

[Dream]

I had a crush on Truny. He wanted me to go work for his department, for which I would have to do a test. He was giving me tips how to pass. I didn't feel good enough. Sometimes he would come very near to me and I felt this wonderful feeling, touch, warmth, a tingle in my gut. I had this feeling of excitement/something new/somebody loves me for quite a long time, I think?
Then he was a cook. He cooked a meal for me, some chicken leg meat with a sauce and peas. The chicken looked delicious, very tender.

I was in a corridor. Aswara was there with her singing teacher. The teacher told her to stand en pointe to sing better. I was curious to hear her sing, but she didn't or I couldn't hear her. I saw her pointe shoes, they were very thick and dark purple at the point. The teacher was also a modern/movement teacher. She wanted to give a lesson. Suddenly there was a group of people, we were a class or sth. The group gathered around the teacher. I stood in front and looked very interested, because I wanted to learn what she had to teach.
Then Kiki was there. We were walking through the corridors of the building, very fast. Somebody said (or maybe I told myself) that we looked like siblings.
The class was a family. There were many redheads. I tried to figure out who was related to whom by the red hair.

Somewhere Anja from school turned up. I think in a restaurant. With others, the class/group/family. She had red hair? Or did somebody just look like her?

Something happened, an explosion or poison attack. A van stopped in front of the house. I could see into it. People were preparing big syringes full of red stuff. I learned that they wanted to inject a thread into our veins to protect us from the poison/illness. I was a little afraid of the thought.

I saw my aquarium and poured in Pepsi because I didn't have water. The fish looked ill, one in particular looked like a red net, all shredded up. It was dying.

The group was running through a wood with me. I felt light and free. I was leaping (grand jeté, tour jeté as well) and half flying. Suddenly I knew that the group felt great admiration. I looked around and a group of riders came galloping through the wood. They had long wavy hair like their horses, strange clothes (wrapped?) and sat on their horses sideways, like women used to earlier, but without saddles. They just seemed to stick to the horses. The horses looked like they were wearing clothes in the colour of their coats. The 'fabric' was woven in thick strips to form intricate patterns on their flanks. I knew this was their coat. I felt great admiration and awe for the riders. They were some sort of elves or heroes. I fought against the feeling and acted as if I felt the opposite. I jumped/flew in front of them and said: can you see how I can fly and leap? I remember one rider was laughing. Not at me, I think just because he felt the same riding as I did flying. I felt no malice from him, but I guess no recognition either. He was not reacting to me? I wanted to feel more valuable, to feel equal to them. I desperately wanted them to like me because I loved and admired them so much.

I slept very long and very well!

Awe in a Dream and Yes, Tuna is Fish

[Dream]

Diane and Papa, evening, Mam waiting with supper. They (and I?) were on the way in the car.

We were to go to a nursing home for ballet dancers. I read the names Balanchine, Alicia Alonso and Suki Schorer in a book. I was excited to meet them but tried to read up on them to be prepared. Saw photos in a book, many old rehearsal photos. The men had fat feet like me. It comforted me to know they could still dance.

I dreamed I was helping to pack for an excursion. I had to go to the bathroom half a dozen times and it didn't get any better. I was nervous. A few colleagues were there, women. One was Miss N., the other was stricter. Gus was there? Binz, too. Maybe Nicola G. By the time we were packed it was 10 a.m. I asked how long it would take and the strict woman said 10 p.m. It made me feel very bad, but I told myself to think positively.

I came out of the bathroom and saw the others leave. I turned into a cartoon character and ran after them. They were cartoon characters, too. We boarded a big ship with boats on it. They were in a boat that was stacked onto another one. I just managed to hold onto the back of the ship (a rubber lip) and bounce along. I screamed and whooped in a cartoon voice. In the background I saw a huge ship, it looked a little like a spaceship. This was the ship the smaller ship took us to. I felt great awe because the "spaceship" looked so huge.
[Dream]

[Vegetarian]

Day 4: Yesterday I accidentally ate fish. I ate tuna mayonnaise and only realised it was fish when I had already eaten most of it.
Today I felt good so far. No cravings. Ok digestion.

Dreams, Craving and Organising

[Dream]

We were in a holiday home, sometimes the pfyn chalet. I tried to walk around but everywhere I wanted to go there were people or furniture, so it took me a long time and made me mad.
We were with another family with children. The father was Ronaldo the footballer.
We came home from a walk and Tibby was dirty. Diane wanted to wash him in the bathroom but I convinced her to use the spare bathroom.
I was in that house before in my dreams. It is small and has lots of stairs and two bathrooms, orange tiles and wood.
I was in another house and wanted to rearrange my books in the living room which turned into my room. I gave it a lot of thought and tried a lot.
In the garden there were a cherry tree with only one ripe cherry and a lampion flower tree

Then I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth? There was a wall holder for an irrigator but the tube was missing. Somehow the water still sprayed into my mouth. I liked it but knew it was useless.  Barbara E./Ulrica gave us chocolate hooves with raspberry soles. They were hollow.

There was a whole crime thing going on. Amanda Knox/Nina E. was a leper, she was chased and was caught in the end. The woman who caught her tricked her into trusting her, then stuck a needle into her neck that sedated her. I felt for her and was angry that she was betrayed like this. This was on a grassy hill.

[Ballet]
Yesterday Franca corrected me a lot. I tend to twist my shoulders when my left leg goes back. I was shy again in allongé. In soutenu turns I land with my weight back.
I feel that my relevé sucks. Everything would go so much better if I were thin.  Today I want to do cardio on the bike.

I didn't.

I'm going to search for a place to stay during the workshop. Doro's flat is not available. I'd like a hotel! But it should be reasonably priced.

[Ballet]

[Vegetarian]

Day 2: I wanted meat three times today. The craving was not very strong. I overate myself twice. I guess that was the reason my digestion was bad. I ate fruit and vegetables, too.


[Ballet]

[Dream]

[My Room]

I cleaned out my personal cupboard today (instead of studying). I noticed that I have a lot of journals. Nine or ten.  I guess they go back for over ten years, but I only started journaling more or less seriously when I turned fifteen. Which is ten years ago. Oh my, that makes me feel old! Not very bad old.
I arranged my journals, a few boxes and tea things in the cupboard and gave some stuff away. I really want to get rid of some things. Like my oil painting things. Some fabric. Some books and toys. It is difficult because my opinion changes all the time. One day I feel I don't need some things anymore, while the next day I want to keep it for old times' sake, to remember something. Or because I think I might need it again later. For example, I never thought about my red velvet bedspread or my sleeping doll in the last year. Yet when I discovered them in a box I couln't bear the thought of giving them away. The bedspread was so rich in color and texture and the doll so cuddly and sweet... maybe I will have to go through all my stuff every six months or so and sort out what I don't need anymore. With time I will grow and be able to let go more things, and my interests will change, too.

30 day challenge - vegetarian

What new habit(s) can I commit to maintaining for the next 30 days?
Not eat meat or fish at all.


What will this do for me if I succeed?
Good for the animals and the planet.
Good for my health.
Raise my vibration and increase my psychic abilities.



When will I begin this 30-day challenge?
On Monday 7. June


How will I reward myself after 30 days of success?
Buy a new Wardrobe!