1 August:
I am in a strange lazy-hazy mood. Am watching Chatter Girl all day long, lying on my bed on a heap of pillows. I feel disconnected from the world. It is rainy.
4 August:
I had to get up at 6 a.m. And go to the W hospital. Toby B was there.
I had a good ballet class. I did all the pointe exercises en demi. Mam will come and watch next week.
5 August:
Second day of W hospital. It is interesting. It challenges me. It makes me appreciate my free time more. Only one more day.
6 August:
Last day of W hospital. It was a good thing for me to do. I feel more alive and conscious. Too much free time makes me waste it.
AS ballet classes went very well. I could hold my own in the beginner level for once. The last few times I was mostly struggling with the speed, but this time it went well. We did some killer exercises. That is good, I need to be fit next weekend. Workshop!!!!
8 August:
I plucked my eyebrows. It hurt a lot, but they are beautiful now. It does make a huge difference in my face. I feel prettier and more elegant and well-groomed. I am grateful to have enough eyebrow hair that naturally grows in a nice arch. All I had to do is thin it a little and accentuate the arch.
I also determined my currant skin type: combination skin, blemish-prone and slightly sun-damaged, with maybe Rosacea (it is sensitive). I am grateful that the bumps, redness and large pores are going away now.
9 August:
Ballet class was ok. I was in pain during the barre. Still sore maybe, or still cold. I am so looking forward to Mam's visit to the school on Wednesday! I imagined her sitting there all the time today. I hope Franca says something nice about me to her. But maybe not too much, in front of everybody. I hope there will not be too many girls. More than 5 like today, but less than 12.
I hope Mam sees what I want her to see: the hard work, the beauty, the joy. I hope she doesn't wear 'prejudice glasses'. I hope she doesn't wish for the class to end.
I want to be thin and light. I still think like I was taught: eating makes me fat. Now everytime I eat I think about the fact that eating makes me happy and happiness makes me thin.
I intend for a bottle of Chanel No.19 parfum to come into my life. I love the scent. And what I read about it makes me want it all the more: assertive, bold, elegant, all the traits I sometimes have and want to have.
I took out our waffle iron and made American waffles today. They are like pancakes. A little boring. They always eat waffles on Chatter Girl, and it reminded me of our waffle iron that we never used, so I tried it. I also made a martini yesterday. It was ok, but I would like something more sweet.
10 August:
I just made vegetable lasagna with Diane and Sina. It is in the oven now. I slept till 11 o'clock. Maybe I will make Belgian waffles this afternoon.
I am in a strange lazy-hazy mood. Am watching Chatter Girl all day long, lying on my bed on a heap of pillows. I feel disconnected from the world. It is rainy.
4 August:
I had to get up at 6 a.m. And go to the W hospital. Toby B was there.
I had a good ballet class. I did all the pointe exercises en demi. Mam will come and watch next week.
5 August:
Second day of W hospital. It is interesting. It challenges me. It makes me appreciate my free time more. Only one more day.
6 August:
Last day of W hospital. It was a good thing for me to do. I feel more alive and conscious. Too much free time makes me waste it.
AS ballet classes went very well. I could hold my own in the beginner level for once. The last few times I was mostly struggling with the speed, but this time it went well. We did some killer exercises. That is good, I need to be fit next weekend. Workshop!!!!
8 August:
I plucked my eyebrows. It hurt a lot, but they are beautiful now. It does make a huge difference in my face. I feel prettier and more elegant and well-groomed. I am grateful to have enough eyebrow hair that naturally grows in a nice arch. All I had to do is thin it a little and accentuate the arch.
I also determined my currant skin type: combination skin, blemish-prone and slightly sun-damaged, with maybe Rosacea (it is sensitive). I am grateful that the bumps, redness and large pores are going away now.
9 August:
Ballet class was ok. I was in pain during the barre. Still sore maybe, or still cold. I am so looking forward to Mam's visit to the school on Wednesday! I imagined her sitting there all the time today. I hope Franca says something nice about me to her. But maybe not too much, in front of everybody. I hope there will not be too many girls. More than 5 like today, but less than 12.
I hope Mam sees what I want her to see: the hard work, the beauty, the joy. I hope she doesn't wear 'prejudice glasses'. I hope she doesn't wish for the class to end.
I want to be thin and light. I still think like I was taught: eating makes me fat. Now everytime I eat I think about the fact that eating makes me happy and happiness makes me thin.
I intend for a bottle of Chanel No.19 parfum to come into my life. I love the scent. And what I read about it makes me want it all the more: assertive, bold, elegant, all the traits I sometimes have and want to have.
I took out our waffle iron and made American waffles today. They are like pancakes. A little boring. They always eat waffles on Chatter Girl, and it reminded me of our waffle iron that we never used, so I tried it. I also made a martini yesterday. It was ok, but I would like something more sweet.
10 August:
I just made vegetable lasagna with Diane and Sina. It is in the oven now. I slept till 11 o'clock. Maybe I will make Belgian waffles this afternoon.
