A death - and Joy, too

Uncle E. died today. I am only a little sad for myself and mostly sad for Aunt L., Cousin M. and Papa. He died well. Quickly, from a stroke or cerebral haemorrhage.


I had a good class tonight. I sweated a lot, but felt mostly strong and flexible. I watched the pointe part of class and during a boring moment I looked at my pointed feet in the mirror, sideways, and they looked good! Flexible enough for pointe even. And I felt like doing the others' exercises en demi-pointe. Afterwards I asked Franca whether I could do the pointe exercises with the others next time, flat. She said yes and she won't charge me anything because I may lack the strength to complete them. I am very happy about that!

Freedom at last

[Vegetarian]
Day 23: I feel ok. I overeat regularly. I tried two kinds of rice milk and soy milk. Soy milk has the nicest texture, but isn't sweet at all. I have to sweeten it to drink it pure or eat it with cereal. I feel that I can't go vegan, it's just too much bother. But for things like cereal etc. I can choose vegan milk at least.
I miss meat sometimes, when Papa is grilling chicken for example. It helps to tell myself that it's the body parts of a dead animal that suffered, but I still want to eat it.

[Ballet]

Yesterday in grand battement derrière I spontaneously tried to relax my neck and shoulders and my leg felt much more free and as if it went higher. My back felt sort of 'folded in half'.
And my splits are back to where they were before I overstretched.

My tights arrived - and they are too small! Damn! But since I 'ordered' a new body, they will soon fit me well!
Elena texted me yesterday to ask when the AS class was. She wants to come. I am looking forward to it very much. Unfortunately the game between Holland and Brasil will take place at exactly the same time as my classes! AS facilities will be closed after that for a whole month! Such a pity, when I have time at last!

The weather has been very hot. It started last Wednesday and has been getting hotter ever since. Fortunately the nights are cool. But I hate sweating! It overstimulates me. Except in ballet, where it is normal unless it's Franca's class in winter. 

The nusing home thing was good, actually. I made a few mistakes (overlooked something, didn't think of something) but most of the time I did well. I only did diagnostics and cleaning. Ben was content. Everybody was nice. We were done by lunchtime on Friday. I am grateful again to the patients. Many had cerebral palsy or had had a stroke or a brain injury. They sat in wheelchairs, some were crooked and couldn't speak. I felt healthy and whole and blessed compared to them. What does it matter that I can't relevé on one foot? That I am fat? I have legs and feet that work, I can speak and think and dance! I am grateful! And I feel sorry for them. I wonder whether they have their disability for themselves or because they want to help others.

The exam was yesterday. I guess I passed, I was sure of having the right answer in 44 questions out of 120. I hope I passed. When I had no clue, I opened my chakras and asked my guides. I trusted my perception and chose the answer that I suddenly saw or felt.

Now I have holidays! And I don't know where to begin! I am too lazy to start sorting out my stuff.